Thursday, July 03, 2008

Slowing down

Thank you so much to each and every one of you who has left a comment and kept me and my dear friends in your thoughts. This is the first time I've looked at the blog since I last posted, and I am touched and overwhelmed at your kindness. Really, really - thank you.

What I didn't say in the previous post was that the friend who died was 39 years old when he was killed in that traffic accident in May. He had been a very close friend of mine for 20 years.

Another thing I didn't mention is that he met the love of his life -- the woman I've called B-SNAK here -- at my 30th birthday party. She and I had been working together and developing a friendship back then, and when I invited her to my party, they fell in love. And they were a gloriously perfect match. Both brilliant and funny. Both political and passionate. Both committed to a lifetime together filled with love and laughter and critical thinking ('cause that's how we nerds do).

And that all ended in an instant.

My dearest friend was not killed by a drunk driver. He was not killed by someone on a cell phone. My friend was killed by a guy who was just in a hurry. A perfectly nice guy I'm sure. But in a hurry all the same. One minute he's just trying to get where he's going, the next minute he's wrecked countless lives by killing someone.

I beg of you: please drive safely out in this world. Please look out for others. Please do your best to factor in enough time to get where you're going so you're not in a rush on the roads. And if you can't do that -- if time really isn't on your side for reasons beyond your control -- please be late. Please. I beg of you.

15 comments:

kim said...

Dr. B., I can't imagine the sadness that you and your friend must be feeling. Your post is a sobering reminder that in this fast-paced world, things can change in an instant. Sending you heeling thoughts and anxiously awaiting your return.

Ashley said...

hi buddy.

Phoebe said...

Oh my, I am so sorry. See, this is why I hate cars. Perfectly reasonable people get careless for one instant, and boom, devastation. My boyfriend and I get around by bike and as careful as we are, I am constantly worried that some driver is going to be less careful and drift over.... it's all too sad. I'm so sorry.

tiennie said...

I am so sorry for all your loss. Something that should have never happened. Best wishes to you all.

Anonymous said...

I think this is a perfect example of what happens when we think only of ME, I, OURSELF. If we would try to keep the welfare of others uppermost in our minds, we would take that extra time, risk being late, end up performing fewer harming actions. I can certainly be guilty of rushing around as much as the next person, but your friend's death is a sobering reminder of how important it is to take the spotlight off our own needs and wishes and think about the impact of our actions on other people. May this sad event inspire us to do so.

Alyssa said...

I'm so sorry for your lose. I dont know what I can say other than you and your friends are in my prayers.

Klozter said...

I'm so so sorry to read this sad news. I also lost a friend this past April -- his 39th birthday was yesterday. Mortality does, indeed, suck.

Ilix said...

both sucks and blows indeed.... vigilance on the road never had a better reason...

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." *Mother Teresa*

jane said...

I am so sorry.

Nano said...

I'm so sorry. For you, losing a good friend, for your friends loss of her soul-mate. And for your friend who lost his life in his prime due to someone's carelessness.

I hope time is helping everyone heal.

Kim in Australia said...

A wise reminder.
I was just passing through but wanted to say thank you for your thoughts. I know grief can be very hard.
Take very good care of yourself.

Best wishes to you and all your loved ones.

Kim Downing

jygreen said...

I miss your blog, Dr. B. I keep checking back, hoping that one day you'll post again. . .

Nano said...

Our lives can be altered in a split second. I hope things are a little better for you and everyone in your life.

Jennifer in North Pole, Alaska said...

I hope that as time has gone on that you have been able to find healing. Also, I hope that you can post more on your blog soon as I just recently found it and am completely enthralled. Every night I come here looking for something funny and crafty to help me forget about my day.

Smadraji said...

Nice Posting
Gay