Half-Fetching review

One Fetching mitt. My left hand. Meh.

Pros

1. As promised, this mitt knits up quickly and requires but a tiny speck of yarn.

2. It matches my brother's hat, and that makes me happy. I realize that may not be an up-side for you, but it's worth noting that it's leftover yarn from that hat -- the yummily soft Lorna's Laces Shepherd Worsted (100% Superwash Wool) in color 102. Mineshaft!

3. How can Mineshaft! be anything but an up-side?

Cons

1. Tiny cable needles. I wanted to try making the cables without a cable needle, but I didn't. This was not Fetching's fault. This was Slime Corner's fault for having another outage in my area, preventing me from going online for the awesome Grumperina tutorial. So I had to wrestle with the little cable needle, and that was tedious.

2. Stripes and cables. Again, not Fetching's fault. I went a different direction from the solid yarn it called for, and maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.

3. My apparently super-long thumbs. As written, the pattern's thumb part is a little short for me, not providing the thumb coverage I desire. My lower thumb is all exposed, making me look like a real floozy.


Hey! Sidebar: Just now, as I was trying to think of something really long to compare to my thumbs (e.g., giraffes' necks are long, spaghetti noodles are sometimes long), I got stumped for a good one. So, I Googled "long things." Yes I did. Unfortunately, this yielded results for "how long things take." Not helpful. So I tried "list of long things". Yes. Maybe this could help... Oh, no. Not what I was looking for. But I do now know that the record for "Beard - female" is 11 inches.

Never let it be said that Dr. B. doesn't use every resource at her disposal to bring you quality content.

I'll test out the no-cable-needle method on the Right Mitt for my next fun adventure.

What? So I used "adventure" when I should've used "geeking out." And? What is your point?

Those big hands look less creepy by comparison.

Why am I surprised? Why do I bother getting surprised about anything anymore? Why do I even get up in the morning?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been known from time to time to be late to the party of various trends and happenings. I've also been known, at other times, to be ahead of the curve. However, I was aware of neither party nor curve with regard to this. I stumbled upon it quite by accident (via kottke). (FYI: It's not really suitable for children, for about seventy-three reasons.)

Please just tell me this isn't happening. Please. For the sake of all things holy (i.e., crap, mother of god, guacamole).

As far as crazy inventions go, give me the big hands any day.

This creeps me out

I don't have a baby, and I don't plan on having one. I'll borrow a baby for a predetermined amount of time, but even then, it's gotta be a pretty special baby.

So, it's news to me that, as a parent or caretaker, you can buy big hands. Like, it's news, and it's weird.

The tagline for these hands is: It's like leaving a part of you with your baby.

Um, gross. They should play that Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you song from the 80's on their website.* (Only it's not the babies going, it's you. Hmm. I should rethink that one.)

Anyway, it's very likely that I'm just out of the loop on this one, and the big hands are all the rage with the babies of the world. But, given that they're new to me, I hope you'll allow me to ask a few burning questions about the big hands:

If I were to have a baby, how much of the childrearing work do you think I could get the hands to do for me?

Do you think I could get them to also write articles for me?

Should I buy the hands and test them out, just to see what kinds of powers they have?

Could I just make the hands myself out of Sesame Street-style felt and wire, and then give them as strange and inappropriate gifts?

Is one of these actually the Invisible Hand of the Free Market those economists are always talking about?

Hey! These questions leave me no longer creeped out. I'm intrigued!

* My brother and I used to sing along to this song, but instead of "me", we'd sing "meat". And it was fracking hilarious.

( link to these creepy hands via Loobylu)