Monday, October 02, 2006

This creeps me out

I don't have a baby, and I don't plan on having one. I'll borrow a baby for a predetermined amount of time, but even then, it's gotta be a pretty special baby.

So, it's news to me that, as a parent or caretaker, you can buy big hands. Like, it's news, and it's weird.

The tagline for these hands is: It's like leaving a part of you with your baby.

Um, gross. They should play that Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you song from the 80's on their website.* (Only it's not the babies going, it's you. Hmm. I should rethink that one.)

Anyway, it's very likely that I'm just out of the loop on this one, and the big hands are all the rage with the babies of the world. But, given that they're new to me, I hope you'll allow me to ask a few burning questions about the big hands:

If I were to have a baby, how much of the childrearing work do you think I could get the hands to do for me?

Do you think I could get them to also write articles for me?

Should I buy the hands and test them out, just to see what kinds of powers they have?

Could I just make the hands myself out of Sesame Street-style felt and wire, and then give them as strange and inappropriate gifts?

Is one of these actually the Invisible Hand of the Free Market those economists are always talking about?

Hey! These questions leave me no longer creeped out. I'm intrigued!

* My brother and I used to sing along to this song, but instead of "me", we'd sing "meat". And it was fracking hilarious.

( link to these creepy hands via Loobylu)


Kristy said...

Hi! Those hands are super creepy. I am equally babyless and cannot comprehend why someone would put these in bed with their baby. Freaky. And yes, freakishly intriguing, I agree.

Also, the link to the hands has an extra "http" at the front and doesn't work, just so you know.

Dr. B. said...

Thanks for the heads-up, Kristy! I've fixed the link.

Anonymous said...

I've had babies. Actually, I had two of them. Yet, I also cannot imagine buying those hands.

When our daughter was a baby, I placed her on her daddy's hairy chest one day. I'm convinced that this is the cause of her aversion to body hair.
So, I would posit that large fake hands on a baby are probably going to cause nightmares, at the very least, for the babies on whom they are used!

Mimi said...

too funny! the hands are pretty creepy. lol

Erin said...

I'm surfing your posts via tags while waiting for some code to finish running, and just had to comment on the "every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you" thing, because my sisters and I did it too. I think we still crack up over it, occasionally.

Hi! I don't remember how I ended up here originally, but I'm not subscribed to your blog. Love it.

Erin said...

"now" not "not". Duh.