Wednesday, December 19, 2007

So we meet again

Last night I was watching an episode of my beloved Martha Stewart Crafts show, and I saw a polar fleece hat that I thought would be perfect as a last-minute gift. Only downside? No polar fleece in the house.

Cut to: Me at my local fabric store this morning. I was wandering around the notions section, no doubt muttering to myself, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted the owner of the LYS I broke up with recently. She was rifling through some remnants and holding them up to a piece of knitting she had with her. I thought carefully but quickly about how to proceed, given our past, and did what any ethical and righteous person would do in that situation: I turned down an aisle so she couldn't see me.

As I was choosing my thread, I thought about how I would come home to my Sidekick and be all, "I just saw the owner of my ex-LYS at the fabric store. Weird, right?"

Yeah. Well. No such luck.

After I'd gathered all the supplies I was going to need for this project, I went to get in line. And there she was again. Right in front of me. Paying for whatever nonsense she was buying.

Play it cool. Maybe she won't see you. Or maybe if she does see you, she won't recognize you.

Again. Not today's luck.

OWNER (catching my eye): Oh, hey!
ME: Hi!
OWNER: What are you making?

You should say socks. Just say socks. It would be hilarious. Do it.

ME: A hat.
OWNER: Oh!
ME: Just a quick gift for a little girl.
OWNER: It's that time of year.

I then, for some unknown reason, just started going on about how quick this project looks and how good ole Martha Stewart will get you out of a scrape every time. I don't know why. I'm from Texas. They teach you to be polite.

OWNER: Are you watching her new crafting show?
ME: Yeah, that's actually where I got the pattern for this hat.
OWNER: Really!
ME: Yep.

Ask her about the "For Rent" sign you saw in her store window recently. It'll make her real uncomfortable. And then she'll have to explain how being rude and condescending drove her out of business.

OWNER: Well if I don't see you beforehand, have a wonderful holiday.

She said this with a big smile. And she seemed kind of sincere and human.

ME: You too.

'Tis the season. Peace on earth and all that.

(And also, I only saw the sign once and then didn't see it again. So. It's not so much that I'm spreading peace and joy, really. In all fairness. It's more that I didn't want to start trouble. And that's ok. 'Tis the season to not start trouble. Fa la la la la, la la, la. La!)

7 comments:

Jean said...

Bwaa haa haa...it *would* have been hilarious if you'd said socks. Good luck with the last minute gifts. :)

Nano said...

Haha! Love how you express the thoughts in your head, then what you actually say. I guess a lot of us do that, frequently.

The hat will turn out lovely, I'm sure.

Chronic Ennui said...

Oh, why didn't you say socks? Well, she seemed genuinely friendly. Maybe she is only rude on her own turf...

LUV(!) Martha!

Cactusneedles said...

I think you did good holding your tongue! (But very difficult, I'm sure!) Great story!

Nora said...

I think I would've said SOCKS!
I think...

Nora

Stacey said...

I totally would have said "socks!" - that would have gotten her good! :) You, being the good Texan, were very polite and cordial...

Felicia said...

LOL Tis the season definitely not to start trouble. I've gotta tell you that the scene would have gone down the same way for me too :) Merry Christmas!