Thursday, September 27, 2007

Overheard at lunch today

My wasband and I were out at lunch today, eating delicious food and listening to the conversation behind us. (We both quite enjoy a good eavesdrop. Remind me to tell you the one about motorcycles sometime.) Anyway!

A young white dude was talking really assertively to someone across the table from him. He'd been going on for some time about himself, his career, his future plans, and in the middle of the whole thing, without missing a beat, dude says:

"Look. This is how it is. I am a songwriter-screenwriter-inventor. That's my hyphen."

My wasband and I found this particularly hilarious for about twelve reasons. Most of those reasons were related to his delivery. He said, "That's my hyphen" like everyone's got one. Like it's a given, and that's his.

The rest of the hilarious? He's a songwriter-screenwriter-inventor? Inventor of what?! What could a dude possibly be inventing in Los Angeles? I mean, come on. Really.

He went on to talk about how he needs to have his voice come through in his writing, and how he once had a dream of meeting Alan Menken and now he's having lunch with him next week, and that's how it is, man. He was that guy. (Oh! If you click on that link, the picture of Mr. Menken is SO perfect! So, so precious and so very perfect for this whole scenario! I love the internet so hard.)

Ok. So. Fine. The dude was pretty ridiculous, but he was young-ish, and whatever. It's LA.

Now is the part where I sheepishly admit that the whole "hyphen" idea stuck with us in spite of ourselves. We couldn't help it! We've kind of decided we're gonna require everyone to declare a hyphen from now on. Because everyone's got one!

I went with psychologist-crafter-blogger. We decided my wasband should go with dog lover-curmudgeon-raconteur. (While we both spontaneously said "curmudgeon", the raconteur was my idea, thank you very much.)

Hey! Should I start a "What's your hyphen" meme? No. That would be super lame.

But, you telling me your hyphen? Cool. Very, very cool. What is it?! I must know!

As a complete PS and aside: That dude would be shitting himself if he knew he'd been so promptly blogged. And by "shitting himself" I mean he'd be all, "Yeah. I invented the hyphen. So. ...Yeah."


Anonymous said...

I will de-lurk to start the list of hyphens.


Dr. B. said...

De-lurking Anon - You rock super hard! Thanks for starting things off in such a kick-ass way!

(So, might I humbly offer in addition: De-lurker-Rocker-AssKicker?)

kim said...

Okay, this has GOT to be my favorite post yet. And I should know because I'm a sarcastic-knitter-commenter. No, that's not good. I may have to think on this one...

Kirsten said...

Ha! What fun!

Kid Schlepper-goof off-knitter

Stacey said...

that is hilarious....what is there left to invent in LA???

Ashley said...

BWAH! I would have dumped my drink on that guy, just 'cause. As to what he's inventing: himself, dude, himself. Don't you get it? He's so misunderstood, and also possibly my ex-boyfriend. Although alas no, because my ex-boyfriend is a screenwriter-feministblogger-bassist. With carpal-tunnel syndrome.

Me? I'm a crazy dog lady-craft blogger-nerd. Whee!

PatchesMom1973 said...

another de-lurker...


Molly said...

I sent this link to my husband because I knew he would love it.

Along with the message, I Hyphened (is it a verb?)him:
flat-picker - word-slinger - coffee whore.

He hyphened me back:

hottie-knitter-hot hottie-funny lady.
hmmmm. is somebody feeling horny?
very flattering, but incomplete.

Instead i came up with:
maker-of-things - mommy - hottie hot chit-chatter

tiennie said...

I have to laugh at that guy's self importance! Too funny.

yarn4kalei said...

Hee-Hee! Do we have to limit ourselves to 3 only? I have way too much crap going on in my head for just 3??? That can be a good and bad thing..LOL! I am going to go with Mama-knitter/beader-queen geek!

Risa said...

The way I imagine this conversation is more along the lines of:
Dude, you like totally have to be, like you know in touch with your inner self to like you know, know what your hyphen is man. Totally.

So, me? I'm a crafter-librarian wannabe-snarkatron.

Kim U said...

Ha, that guy sounds hilarious - how did you avoid bursting out in laughter?

So my hypen... I'm thinking observer-crafter-schmoopie. I should probably work slacker in there somewhere too :)

Dr. B. said...

You guys are awesome and hilarious!

Kim U - We did actually burst out laughing -- like really laughing -- but we played it like it was part of our own conversation. I felt kinda bad, but as you suggest, it was pretty unavoidable.

Stella said...

Me: number wrangler-crafter-remodeler.

My job varies from day to day though: Today I'm wrangling numbers. Other days, I make old people draw clocks.

seth said...


Anonymous said...

I'm speechless-laughing-awestruck!

heather t said...

While I agree the pretentious LA youth (no hyphen) aspect is hilarious, i was thinking that if everyone did have a professional hyphen, it would be a heck of a lot easier for me to get a job.

copywriter-graphic designer-knitter. Experience-trained. (hee)

Because I can do any one of them or all three.

jane said...


I sound pretty dull compared to a schmoopie and a snarkatron. What are they, by the way?

annika said...

I love this idea! I think I'm a
craftaholic-sleep guru-cupcake lover- data buster

Nano said...

Garmento-Crafting-Procrastinator, that's my hyphen!

Kristy said...

Hilarious...I do so love a tidbit of "overheard".

Poor guy, he probably thinks he invented the hyphen but really, wasn't it Bo Jackson back in the late 80's who invented the hyphen, with his "Bo Knows..." schtick? Is that an obscure reference?

As for me, I guess my hyphen would have to be

old soul-knitter-thinker-keeper of random things.

Chrispy said...

Wow amazing. I don't think I can limit myself to 3.

Math whiz-Speed Knitter-Protector of Friends-Wife-Dog Mommy

Hope that works