Monday, May 07, 2007

A tale of tall yarn. Poorly illustrated.

My PIC called me one night with a very serious question.

PIC: What kind of yarn do you think you'd want?
ME: What?
PIC: My sister is in Argentina, and she said she found a yarn district! Like three full city blocks, just of yarn, and all of it is about one or two dollars a ball. But she has no idea what to get. What should we get?

My PIC's sister is not a knitter, but she knows how much her sister loves the yarn. Sweet, right?

So together my PIC and I strategized about how to explain to a non-knitter how much yarn is required to make a particular item. We were not very good at this. At all. Particularly because the measurements that were needed were in grams, and we don't know a damn thing about grams. We're lame. We also can barely do this ourselves when we're looking at the yarn in the yarn store. Really.

So we did the best we could to explain chunky vs. worsted weight and grams vs. yards in an e-mail to my PIC's sister, and we sucked at it. Hard. But we thought it was really kind, and figured we'd get a few balls of yarn for cheap, and that would be awesome.

Meanwhile, my PIC's sister did what any (crazy) person would do in this situation, you know - a situation where the information is kind of vague but the heart is in the right place: She bought a metric f*ckton of yarn.

I was made aware of this a few nights later via a dark, blurry photo sent to my phone. It was of my PIC lying on a bed that appeared to be covered in what looked to be yarn. My PIC told me it was a lot of yarn. I thought that was very generous of her sister, and I sent my warm thanks.

But you know what? The warmth of my thanks was not commensurate with the amount of yarn we are talking about here.

When I went over to my PIC's to see the yarn, I didn't take my camera. I didn't think it was necessary. Error.

My PIC's sister had managed to cram two tall -- I mean tall -- and full -- so, so full -- bags of yarn into her already stuffed luggage. How she did this, I'll never know.

Because I could not wait any longer to show you just how much yarn we're dealing with here, I created this super-ridiculous drawing for you. These bags really are up to our waists. And they are full of yarn. Hanks and hanks and hanks of beautiful yarn!

(Note: The person in this drawing has no head and grey shoes to keep my PIC's identity private. While she does have a head, she would never wear grey shoes. Also, if I'd drawn her head, it would've looked just like her - because I am that good - and we can't be having that.)

Once Joann's ships our ball winder and swift -- very necessary in this situation-- I cannot vouch for our productivity in the rest of our lives. It's gonna be all ball winding all the time. Our houses will be overflowing with yarn cakes. And then you'll see. You will all see.

Hilarity will surely ensue.



Stacey said...

:) that is a great drawing!!!!! (and a lot of yarn!!)

kim said...

Wow! "Headless and Waist-deep in Yarn" Sounds like the title of a song. I'm oh-so envious. I cannot wait to see your loot.

Ashley said...

Dude, is Argentina like some secret paradise of yarn and meat? I knew about the meat, but not the yarn. Note to self: go to Argentina.

PS Props for not titling this post with some variation of "don't cry for me, Argentina!" which is what I, to my eternal discredit, would totally have done.

Nora said...

I had to read this twice - the first time I was laughing so hard I couldn't see the screen through the tears (of laughter).

The drawing is so... artistic. I had no idea you were so... talented. And... creative. I'm... impressed. Truly. And speechless. This is just too much. I have to go now. Bye. x

PS: Any cashmere? I couldn't detect any in your drawing.

Kristy said...

Viva, Argentina! And Viva hermana de PIC!!

Jean said...

You lucky scoundrel! I'm looking forward to seeing the goods for real. In the meantime, I am pacified by the stellar visual aid provided in this post. (Props to your PIC for never wearing grey shoes.)

Nano said...

You're drawing is very lifelike. Can't wait to see some of that loot.
Do they actually make grey shoes?

tiennieknits said...

Thanks for the giggle! Headless PIC - hahahahahaha! All that yarn!!! You are a great artiste.

Laura said...

You have topped yourself in the hilarious posts dept. here.

I cannot WAIT to see this haul. And I agree with Ashley ... we all need a knitters' vacation to Argentina.

Kim said...

Absolutely the best yarning story I've ever read. Applause all around for the Yarn Mule!!!!!

Sarah said...

Can't wait to see the real stuff... I'm pretty jealous. It's kind of like you won the yarn lottery. Hmmm... I wonder who I can send down south to buy my ticket!

Jen said...

I have a friend going to Argentina in a while... hmmm... wonder if she fancies going shopping...!

(P.S. I came here from yarnival!)

Mandy said...

This post had me laughing my butt off. It is so funny, I had to email my sister immediately and tell her to come read it. Awesome.

Maria said...

Sisters Rock!!!!!!

Laurie said...

I love the drawing, and it says a great deal, but. You just gotta put up a picture of this yarn! We want to see.

Dr. B. said...

Hey Maria - They DO rock!!

And Laurie - If you check my post from August 16th, I included all the follow-up links there! Oh, there are photos of the yarn...

Thanks for stopping by, the both of you!!