The garland begins

The next phase of the making of the garland...

Printed out the template onto regular printer paper. Felt a little chumpy about using the template since it's just 3 circles in ascending sizes, but let's be honest. I'm not going to figure out how to make circles in the designated sizes, so I'd best just be grateful they're giving this away for free.

Cut out the paper circles. Took a deep breath.

Noticed some thick cardboard poking out of one of the bags in my crafting room. Is it silly to mount the paper template onto this thick cardboard? Can I even cut through the cardboard with my scissors? Does it even really matter?

Oh, it always matters. Lest ye forget. It always matters.

Figured I might as well give it a go. Used some of my awesome adhesive that I use when making cards, adhered one paper circle at a time to the thick cardboard, and started cutting.

 

 

That cardboard doesn't look particularly thick, I realize -- it's probably 1/8" max -- but it still wasn't terribly fun to do in that it required using some hand strength. Delicate flower that I am, I prefer tests of hand endurance over tests of hand strength. Oh, I'll knit or hand-quilt for hours at a stretch, but don't make me squeeze something hard. I just don't care for it.

But I did it. And I'm glad I did.

 

It really came in handy later.

So now there I was, face to face with these three circles on cardboard and a pile of untouched felt. This is a place I've been before. I know it well. Somebody's got to make the next move. And that somebody is me. But which oh which move to make? Answer: The one that yields 200 felt circles being cut without anyone losing a limb or a week.

How about if I just hold the mounted template down onto the felt then cut around with my rotary cutter on my self-healing mat?

 

FAIL. This was impossible. No way to get around the circle well. Just blech. What's funny is that this was so close to the best solution, yet it would take me several more flings with fails to finally get there. (Flings With Fails might be a good band name, but I think it's really better in the "Flings featuring Fails" configuration, you know, the way all the hip kids are doing it these days. I am so cool.)

Then I remembered the tremendous success I've had with washable markers. Yeah! Let's do that! Washable Marker!

 

No. Let's not. What am I gonna do, cut this out and then carefully wash away the residual purple ink along the edges? For 200 circles? No. I am in fact not going to do that.

How about using something lighter like those Chacopel Fines that I won't have to wash off?

Yes. This seemed to be going well -- tracing around the template with the pencil, then cutting the felt circle out with my fancy scissors. (Eeep! If you follow that scissors link, there's a futuristic looking seam ripper they've got going on that looks like no joke. Whoo-eee. What will they think of next?!)

So, after about an hour of tracing and cutting, here's what I had:

Seventeen circles and the sinking feeling that this was not the best way.

Also! Friendly tip!

In case you're thinking that you like this pencil method and that you'd be able to speed through it more quickly than I would, fair enough. But be warned: using the handy Chacopel brush to get rid of the marks you've made en-fuzzens the edges, because that's what happens when you BRUSH felt. If you decide to leave the marks on to keep your edges intact, the whole thing will look faded and crappelle. But to each her own. Do what you must.

Gee, if only there were some way to mark the fabric without leaving some visible residue.

The Hera marking tool! Makes a crease rather than a mark! Oh, right. FAIL. Can't get around the circle well. Can't see the crease. I made a crappy mark and a crappy circle. So sleepy.

In the process of trying to clean up the mess that this method made, I held the cardboard template against the felt between my thumb and forefinger of my left hand and used the scissors in my right hand. Turning my left hand in a circular motion while keeping the scissors relatively stable, I zipped around that thing so fast I think I actually laughed out loud. 

At the two hour point, I had this many:

And by the next morning, I had all the circles I needed:

200 circles... plus a few to grow on, just by holding the template in place against the felt and cutting around it with scissors.

The fact that the cardboard was thick meant I wasn't shaving slivers off of the template as a cut around it, so I do recommend a thick mount. (Oh, get your mind out of that gutter, pervs!)

I found the whole thing quite soothing and fun in the end.

I'd like to think that my process of discovery here can help someone out there. Not only does that make me a super-helpful blogger friend, but it also keeps me from having to admit that I may very well be the slowest kid in craft school.

Next step: Sewing!

Wool. Felt.

I remember! I remember! Crafting is SO fun!! Aaaargh!

Ok. So. Big Alice really hooked me up. The other day when I wrote about my longing for some affordable wool felt, she left a comment real casual-like about how maybe I should try this place.

(I'm realizing this post may turn into a gush-fest, so you might want to put some galoshes on.)

Over at this place, the wool felt is totally affordable. Not only that, they've done you the giant favor of making color bundles for you. Really adorable bundles! In adorable colors! So many great combinations, it was all I could do to order just one. I have my prudent and wise mind to thank for this.

You've never ordered from them before, and neither has Big Alice. You don't even really know how you feel about wool felt. Yes, the colors are great. But let's just take this slow.

But also? Right next to the bundles? Embroidery floss. Floss that coordinates with the wool felt bundles. They went all Garanimals on my ass! No agonizing over which color goes with which thing. All I had to do was pick the color combos I liked the best.

Dude, slow down. Yes, they've done you the giant favor of making everything go together. But, to reiterate, you don't know how you feel about wool felt. And your plan is to make garland with this felt. Nowhere in the garland recipe is embroidery floss called for. Slow your roll.

So all I did was order the Carnival bundle. That was it. I showed restraint. I was testing it out.

And then it got to my house super fast!

Just because it got to your house really fast doesn't mean you should go right back on there and get more! You haven't made anything with it. You just took it out of the box! Your ability to be wowed is really remarkable. Really.

But look look! 

Is this not the perfect bundle for the garland?! I say yes! Perfect! And it's the perfect excuse to go into that room that I'm trying to make into a craft room and get crafting!

Oh! The excitement is almost too much to handle! I will push unpacked boxes aside. I will find extension cords. I will properly install the new lamp that my Sidekick bought me, and I will officially get crafting!

Way to show restraint in this post. You and I both know you have already begun sewing the garland and that you have photos of the whole hilarious process, and yet you are doling it out across several posts. Prudent. Wise. Stay strong, crazy lady. Stay strong.

My steam iron

When I turn on my iron, it smells like someone tried to brew a cup of coffee in it. Seriously.

(1) Should I be concerned?

(2) If I wanted it to do something about it, what would I do?

And finally:

(3) What other things could I make my iron smell like?

Discuss.

Extra credit/bonus question: Who the hell was making coffee in my iron?

After

Longest. Cliffhanger. Ever!

Did the orange marker wash out? Did the quilt hold up after a wash 'n' tumble?

Boy, oh, boy. Sorry to have made you wait so long for the answers.

So. Got your drums a-rolling?

Let's get on with it, then.

Here you go:



I have found a new love, everyone. It is Mr. Washable Marker!

Every last bit of orange ink came out! This, even after having been on the quilt for two weeks or so. Not a trace of it was left after the machine-wash in cold water. (I don't know how much to credit the two color catchers I threw in with the quilt, but that's neither here nor there.)

The quilt looks great.

It was delivered to the mama four days before the baby's arrival, so I'm hoping it's already being put to good use.

Specs:
Fabric: Katie Jump Rope by Denyse Schmidt for Free Spirit.
Pattern: Rail Fence blocks with my own border added.
Batting: Couldn't tell you. Some batting I found in my closet. It's thin-ish.
Assembly: Machine-pieced, birthed, then hand-quilted with Coats & Clark poly/cotton hand-quilting thread in color 256 (natural).

Hooray!

Next time I'll give you the List of Excuses, Reasons, and Nonsense that attempt to explain my long absence. (Nothing major, I promise.)

Big hug to you all!!

Before

Now that you know about my torrid but brief affairs with various marking tools, I think you can handle some details about my current relationship with the washable markers. I've been silent on it thus far because we've been in the wait-and-see period. And while we aren't out of the woods yet (I don't know if it's really gonna wash out), I thought I'd let you know how it's been going.

I will admit that I had this idea that using markers on my quilt would inspire an unprecedented hand-quilting speed. I really did. I figured I would be fueled by a strong fear of ruining the whole thing by leaving the marker on too long. Well. Turns out I'm not inspired by fear. Good news in life. Maybe not such good news here.

I am very close to being done, though, and I will give you all the details in the "After" post. But in the meantime, I thought you might appreciate this little marking detail:


Let me give you a closer look:

This is the "wait, wait" portion of the marking. "Wait, wait, that's not the curve I want. No. Wait, wait. That's better. No. Wait. There!"

Isn't it gonna be hilarious when that orange marker stays on the quilt permanently? No, right? Do you think I could blame the baby for it somehow? No! What kind of monster am I that I would even think of such a thing?! Seriously. It's a baby! Hmmm.

How about this? I'll say it's a new trend in quilting. In baby-quilting in particular. Having lines drawn on it like that takes the pressure off the kid and the parents to keep the quilt in pristine condition. That's it! That's what I'm going with if this shit doesn't come out.

I hope you'll back me up on it.

Here's hoping this one works.

Dear Washable Markers,

Hi. We met at my PIC's house a couple of months ago. I was the one with the polka-dotted baby quilt who kind of didn't want to meet you, and ended up using you to draw the lines on the quilt so I could sew my quilting lines straight. Remember me? Yeah. I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I seemed stand-offish that day. I think I owe you an explanation for my cool exterior.

I'm sure you've met women like me before -- women who've been in relationships with other marking tools and then show up to a new tool with an "attitude" or whatever. Well, it's not you or anything -- I mean, you say right on your package that I can trust you -- it's just that I've had relationships with lots of other marking tools, and they have been challenging. Really, really challenging.

I know some tools get jealous when women talk about their exes, but I think without a frank talk about what went wrong and what went right, we're doomed to failure. So, given that you seem like you care about winning, I'm gonna give you the highlights. I think we might then be able to move ahead with a shared sense of understanding and purpose. Don't you think? I do.

So. OK. This guy:

This guy was really sharp, and I had lots of hope for the relationship because of that. But turns out sharp isn't everything. I tried so hard to make it work with him, but it was just a mess. Literally, a dirty, smudgy mess. He eventually ran out of lead. I ran out of patience. And I moved on. I don't want a mess. So sue me.

These guys:

I was with these guys in the early days. You know the kind: All enthusiastic in the beginning, trotting out all the fun colors, talking about how soft and versatile they are. Yeah. Well. They disappear. They disappear, and then when you go back to them, they make all these promises to stick around again. And guess what? They fucking disappear again. They are the reason Quiltie and I are having trouble to this day. Thanks a lot, Chacopel Fine. Thanks, but no thanks.

And then there was this one:

This one really broke my heart. Hera was her name. Some people I really trust set me up with her and gave her glowing reviews. "She's incredibly tidy -- no mess at all -- and she sticks around," they said. Only problem was, I couldn't see her. We made marks together, and yet, try as I might, it was such a struggle to be at the right angle, in the right light. I would've had to get reading glasses or something to make it work. I suppose I was simply too old for her. Sad, really. She was perfectly lovely, and I know she'll make someone else very, very happy.

So, I'm giving you a try, Washable Markers. I can certainly go without marking tools and free-hand my quilting; I started this latest baby quilt exactly that way, in fact. But I think having a nice, effective marking tool to help guide me through these circles will be a nice thing.

Just don't fuck me over by not washing out.

(If you don't wash out, mister, there will be hell to pay, I assure you.)

(Hell!)

Sincerely,
Dr. B.

Bedwarmers

So, my back went out on Day 2 of the family visit this year. And not just let-me-take-some-Advil-and-we'll-be-good out. But boo-hoo-you're-gonna-have-to-put-my-socks-on-for-me out. And also things-were-kinda-improving-until-I-sneezed why-did-I-get-so-cocky out.

Ok. Fine. It is what it is. Lucky for me, I have a loving family who is not only understanding but is also insistent on comfort at all times. This is truly a blessing. (Hydrocodone is also a blessing. It won't rub your back and tell you it loves you, but it will quite willingly take the edge off.)

I was of many minds about the whole thing. I took it as a sign that I needed to slow down and as a reminder of the importance of flexibility (both literal and figurative). I was reminded that stress will sneak up on you whether you like it or not. And I also remembered that it's hard to stay fully engaged when you're in pain/on painkillers, even if you're really wanting to be engaged.

We were all handed an exercise in balance because of it, and I think we fared just fine.

One of the hilarious parts of the ordeal was that, in the midst of this fuzzy-brained, stabby-backed situation, I decided it would be a good idea to go buy a sewing machine.

What? Why not? I'll tell you why not. Because fully medicated, I was easily persuaded by the aforementioned loving and understanding people to accept a gift of one of the fanciest sewing machines in the world.

That whole excursion is worthy of its own post, and its own post it shall get.

What I really wanted you to see were the rest of the bedwarmers. (The Rest of the Bedwarmers is also a lovely modern dance I've choreographed and will be performing once my back is all better -- the dance has lots of bendy parts.)

This one was for my SIL and brother. I made it well before Christmas, using the old machine.

My SIL and brother loved it so much, we agreed they needed a second one.

So, my SIL and I went through all of my fabrics and made this one together. We used the new sewing machine/super-computer/waffle-maker. (As I mentioned, I'm convinced my new machine is so fancy, it must also make waffles.)

Those bears kill me. Particularly because they're in the woods.


I'd like to give myself credit for the improvement in the sewing of the piping, but I'm afraid I have to credit the waffle-maker. In fact, I have a sneaking feeling I'm well on my way to complete obsolescence because of the machine. That's OK. I'm pretty sure it isn't very funny. And, as far as I can tell, its fabric selection skills are weak. Weak!

Pattern: Bedwarmer. By Ashley Shannon.
Fabrics: Some deliciousness from Superbuzzy that was on sale back in August.
Piping: Wrights Maxi Piping (Mocha 765 and Olive 590) bought at my local fabric store.
Sewing machine: Waffle Maker 3000.

My new friend - Polar Fleece

Like all you crafters out there, I have lofty dreams of giving handmade gifts to my loved ones for Christmas. And like many of you, I ended up needing to make one particular thing quickly and last-minute-ish for an 11 year-old niece. So, rather than knitting a hat, I sewed one out of my new friend, Polar Fleece.

The joke was kind of on me, though, in that it took me longer to cut and sew this (and the scarf I then decided I needed to make) than it would've taken to knit something. Aw, who cares? I made a new friend!

Pattern: Martha Stewart fleece hat. Pattern can be found here.

Fabric: Two colors of polar fleece. I bought 1/2 yard of each color, and that was enough for this child's size hat, the scarf below, and probably a whole other hat.

Crazy important thread tip: Use heavy-duty thread on the top only, and regular thread in the bobbin. Martha won't tell you to do that. But the very nice and helpful lady at the fabric store will. "If you use the heavy-duty on both," she said, "you're going to have a big mess." I used Gutermann 100% Polyester thread in color 257 - dark blue, and was grateful every step of the non-mess way for that nice lady.

Sewing needle: Size 18 for heavy-duty fabrics. The bulk of the fleece -- despite it being quite light and fluffy -- requires some heavy-duty tools apparently.

Mods:

(1) I embroidered a snowflake on it. I used 3 strands of DMC embroidery floss in light blue and free-handed it. It's just some backstitching and french knots.

(2) Instead of seaming the hat so that the front is 2 panels of color next to each other, I sewed it so that the light blue panels wrap around the sides, like this:

Then I figured that a hat alone might be a lame present, and I had lots of leftover fleece. So I made a matching scarf. (It looks quite grey in the photo, but it's the same fabric. It matches in real life.)

For what it's worth, here's the info on sewing the scarf:

Two-toned scarf "pattern": my own.

Specs: Finished scarf measures approx. 42 inches x 5 inches.

If I were really adept at this sewing thing, I could've done this very quickly, cutting two long strips (each one measuring 42.5" x 5.5") then sewing them together. I am not, however, adept at this sewing thing, so I pieced the strips. Whatever.

All you should know is: embroider the snowflake first, then sew the scarf -- right sides together-- leaving about a 3-inch opening on one side to turn it right-side out again. Again, I used heavy-duty thread in the top only, and regular thread in the bobbin. No problems there!

After turning the scarf right-side out, I blind-stitched the opening closed. I knew the next step would be to top-stitch around the scarf about 1/4" away from the edge, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so sleepy.

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful experiment. Not as speedy as it could've been (or as it would be for you, probably), but good nonetheless.

Now. Let the gift-wrapping commence!

Things that slow you down

(The title of this post reminds me of that 20,000-Dollar Pyramid game show from the '70s. I imagine it said as a category. FYI)

(1) An iron that is suddenly leaking out of the bottom. Imagine going to the ironing board, carefully pressing a seam, then pouring a glass of water on it. That's what it's like.

(2) Hand-quilting placemats. I know I said I was going to machine-quilt them. I chickened out. But I'll tell you, this wouldn't be so slow if I weren't compelled to be

(3) Stopping after every line of stitching to closely inspect my work. I'm a troubled individual.

(4) Caramel corn.

(5) A sewing machine that's missing the table extension. This is my secret shame. I use a borrowed sewing machine, and I lost the little table part, so all I have is a small area around the needle as the flat surface. Unless I use a stack of books. And the stack of books can only do so much. (Anyone like to recommend a sewing machine?) This foolishness is wearing thin, and slowing me way down.

(6) A literal pain in my neck from doing some sit-ups earlier. Lesson learned.

Maybe tomorrow will be speedier. It's supposed to rain like crazy tomorrow, and we'll see what that does to my productivity. Since Torrential Downpour/Drenchfest '07 has already started right here on my ironing board, I'm imagining I'm all set.

Items! Part One.

I made a scarf while I was on vacation.

There. I said it.

Look. It was a whole thing. My SIL had something to do with it. The Brooklyn General Store and Purl also had things to do with it. But you know what? Let's not get caught up in assigning blame. It's not ladylike and just gets us nowhere. Instead, let's gaze upon the wonder that is the scarf.

Doesn't that stitch look good?

It is purty.

Pattern: My So Called Scarf. (That link is to the free pattern.)
Yarn: Manos del Uruguay. Handcrafted Kettle Dyed Pure Wool. Color 118.
Needles: Lantern Moon. US size 15.
Mods: I used honkin' big needles. The pattern calls for 11s, I think. But the 15s were all I had with me, and I wanted to make the scarf while I was still with my SIL to make sure she'd really like it. Blah, blah, blah. She and I both agree we like how it looks. And I like that it knit up real fast.

There are worse things than buying two skeins of new yarn and knitting a brand new scarf. Really. So much worse. Maybe I'll convince my brother to let me tell you the Crap or Vomit story. It's a good one. And it will take some of the heat off of me and and my item-y ways.

Fingers crossed.

I am glad to be back!

Delicious Purl

I have a very dear friend who reads my blog, despite his having zero interest in crafting. He is a fine, fine friend indeed. Being an outsider to the crafting world, he makes observations about it that are astute and humbling.

"What I find truly fascinating," he once said to me, very sweetly, "is that the crafting movement seems to be all about hand-making things, standing up against corporate culture and consumerism, and yet..." He paused here for a moment to sheepishly chuckle, "you guys are always buying stuff!"

Yes. Yes we are. It's a puzzler.

From Purl (clockwise from left): Kacha Kacha row counter, knitting needles, bias tape maker, quilter's curved safety pins, and wool felt.

Oh, let me get you a closer look at those needles I bought.


Wait. That's not really clear. Here you go:


That shot is dedicated to my former LYS. You're welcome. (Instead of "You're welcome" I wanted to say "Peace, bitches!" but thought better of it. See how I did that? Smooth move, me!)

ANYway, let's briefly discuss the felt! It was expensive, but it is so beautiful. It has a really subtle herringbone pattern in it, and it's just great. Here's another photo of it.

Scrumptious!

Side note: Pleased with how those photos were turning out, I thought I'd give the embroidery another try in that same warm sunlight.

I'm starting to believe it just can't be done.

I support things that support me back.

I don't believe in revenge as a practice. I really don't.

But it just so happened that when I was poking around online last night, I saw that Purl had the needles that I need to make those socks. You know the needles. The ones that this one had never heard of. There they were! Ready to be bought! So I bought them.

Now, after all your comments and a lot of soul-searching, I decided I won't go back to the LYS that gave me so much grief about these needles (among other things). Life's too short. And there's no need to get involved in any more nonsense. Why buy the drama when you can get the milk for free? (Oh, wait. That's not how that goes.) It makes me genuinely sad to have to make those kinds of decisions, but it seems like the ethical thing to do. Just put the whole thing down and walk away with loving kindness.

I am happy to give Purl my business, as they have never been anything other than prompt and kind. They also have that kick-ass Purl Bee. So, there's that.

My sock-making, online-buying, picky-needling self is gonna just have to drive a little further to get knitting supplies locally. And that's too bad. But it's preferable to giving my money to a place whose business practices are so problematic.

Thank you for all your thoughts on it. If you have any others, I'm all ears (or eyes, I suppose, in this case).

Back to crafting content with photos tomorrow!

Knowing, needles, and an LYS

So I'm gonna make these socks, right? Right.

Wrong-yarn wrong-needles test? Check.

Run-through of the basic elements of the chart? Check.

Right yarn? Just arrived yesterday. Beautiful hand-dyed.

(As usual, poor quality of photos tells you how beautiful the yarn really is.)

Right needles? Still not in my possession.

Here's where my local yarn store (LYS) comes in.

The story I am about to tell you is from my perspective. Others who were there will tell you a different story, because that's how life is. And that's cool. Everybody's gonna have a different telling, but rest assured, my version will have the most flair.

Also, let it be known that I don't like to call people out. I really don't. But sometimes things are just too egregious to ignore.

Let me start by saying that my LYS is a complex place, made up of complex characters. It is very conveniently located around the corner from my house, so it's got that going for it. However, more often than not, my LYS has That Vibe rocking on full blast. Maybe it's because famous people shop there, maybe it's something else, but those ladies have somehow perfected the art of down-the-nose-vision. As I've said before about this, you're trying to sell yarn, no? You're not weeding the hacks out of the neurosurgery rotation. One day that gravitas is gonna kill a person.

OK. That's too strong. Sometimes they are perfectly cordial to me. Let's just dive in to what happened.

A few days ago, I decided I should just run into the store to buy the needles I needed for these fancy socks so that when the yarn arrived, I'd be ready. So, in the middle of the day I zipped over there. I was in a perfectly good mood, cheerful and friendly. Really. I would tell you if I'd been crabby. I promise you, I was at peace with the world.

There were three women in the store. One works there (the one who literally pushed me over once), one was a Regular who had come to knit for the afternoon. And the third was the Owner, who was sitting in a little knitting area across from the Regular. The latter two were knitting.

Me (to Owner, cheerfully): Hi! I need some needles.
Owner: OK.
Me: Just some double-pointed 1.5 US needles.
Owner (cocks her head to one side and squints a little. I get a little whiff of The Vibe): 1.5 US?
Me: Yep!
Owner: What are you making?
Me: Socks.
Owner and Regular together: OH!
Regular (knitting, not looking up): I've never understood why people make socks. You never see them!
Owner (to the Regular): Oh, there are people who love to make socks. Sockers.
She says "sockers" like someone might say "cancer" or "racists".
My inside voice: I'm standing right here.
My outside voice: I'm making some socks for a friend who asked me to make them for her. It's not that I really l-o-v-e to make socks.
Owner (to me): I've never heard of 1.5 US needles.
Me: Uhm.
Owner: There are 0. And 1. And 2. But no 1.5 US.
Me: Huh. That's what the pattern calls for.
Owner: Well, just because the pattern says it doesn't mean it's right.

At this point, I'm starting to get the sense that this isn't going well.

Employee: Let me show you what we have.
She disappears into the back.

The rest is a bit of a blur, a flurry of very awkward moments.

At one point the Owner tries to engage me with: You've been knitting this summer!
Me: A little, but I've actually been sewing quite a bit.
Owner: Me, too. But it's always with my knitting. What have you been sewing?
Me: I made the Purl Rabbit recently. From The Purl Bee?
Owner: Oh, yeah. She has a nice site. Do you shop from her store online? (very serious) Don't tell me you've bought yarn from her.
Me: I haven't. Cross my heart. I've bought fabric.
The Owner and Regular then get into a conversation about the "Yarn Shopper" and how savvy "they've" gotten, how they'll just look for the best deal online and buy their yarn there instead of in a store.
My inside voice: Again, I am standing right here. In. Your. Store.

The topic returns to needles, and the Employee is now trying to give me some Lantern Moon Ebony needles.
Me: Oh, I've had a bad experience with those. They split.
Owner: You don't know that.
Me: Yeah. I had some that just split and ate my cashmere.
Owner: But these might not.
Me: I've heard from other people that they've had the same experience with that needle. So, I'd rather go with metal. Do you have any metal needles?
Owner: No.
Me: Oh.
Owner: What kind of metal needles would you use?
Me: I haven't used them, but I hear Knit Picks makes good ones.
Owner (fully sponsored by The Vibe): Knit Picks makes needles?
Me: Yeah. They're what the Yarn Harlot uses.
Regular: The Yarn Harlot?
Owner (to the Regular): She's this wildly popular online knitter. I'm telling you, you have to cater to these people, because there are a lot of them.

My inside voice: I. AM. RIGHT. FUCKING. HERE!

Owner (and I swear to God she said this to me with the Vibe-iest Vibe that ever Vibed): For someone who doesn't really make socks, how come you're so picky about your needles?

I tried to make the best of it. I really did. I even bought some needles I didn't really need. The cherry on the sundae? This final exchange as I was leaving:

Owner: You should bring your socks in and come knit with us sometime.
Me (with a smile and a playful tone): I don't know if I will. They are socks.
Owner (not playful. at all.): Oh. Now you've got an attitude!

This was absolutely the craziest display of crazy-making I've seen in a yarn store yet. If they'd been super busy or I'd been acting like a jerk, it would be more understandable. It wouldn't be the best way to treat a customer, but I'd understand. But this? All I can figure is that someone with knowledge they've acquired online has somehow become public enemy number one at this store.

I understand that brick-and-mortar stores are having it rough. I do. I want to support local business as much as humanly possible. But this store is not just having it rough because of The Online. It's saying something when there's a yarn store right around the corner from me, and I'm not in it every day of the week.

Sad.

But here's a question: In the spirit of wanting a peaceful planet, should I take her up on her invitation and go knit with them? Try to better understand the situation?

No, right?

Fancy knitting

Everything about this project is fancy: the pattern, the million-dollar needles, and the yarn. I didn't mention yesterday that I'm using a cashmere yarn for my test run. I know. It's foolish. I'm also using hundred dollar bills to scrub my kitchen, but that's neither here nor there.

So far, the only thing holding up in the fancy department is the pattern.


Nice 'n' fancy.


Ok. So, let's discuss the bendy needles.

You saw this one coming. Were you gonna guess that a needle went snap? If you were, you would've been off by one letter. Take a look.


Closer.


Is that a bit of cashmere sticking out of that needle, and clearly visible in the shadow? Yes, actually! Yes. It is. Right in the midst of knitting all fancy, my needle went snag. I could hang a coat off the piece of wood that's come up off this needle.

What the eff, people? These are million-dollar needles!

"Due to its density, ebony wooden needles take on a fine polish or gloss that only improves with use," says Yarn Market. What they meant to say is, "Upon first use, the Lantern Moon ebony needle will splinter apart abruptly but subtly, leaving a razor-sharp wedge to catch even the finest of yarns every time." I'm gonna just send that correction over to Yarn Market real quick.


Ok, so that brings us to the finest of yarns portion. This yarn is really soft and lovely. I got three balls on sale from the store where they push you over. And knitting with it yesterday was very soothing. So soothing, in fact, and looking so good in this pattern, I decided I'd keep these cashmere tester socks for myself.

CUT TO: Just a minute ago. I did a search for Filatura di Crosa Elen Cashmere yarn. I did this for you, so that you could click on "the yarn" above, and be sent to another site to learn more about the yummy yarn.

And now I take you into my head, only moments ago:

(looking at my search results) Yarndex. That looks good. [click] (reading) Yes. Made in Italy. Right. MSRP $ 17.95. Hmm. My LYS really jacked the price up. Good thing I got it on sale. Yes. Good. Oooooh, look at all those colors. Pumpkin. Mauve. There are like a hundred colors here, and only one is discontinued! Cream. (long, sad pause) Is mine cream? (momentarily hopeful) Maybe it's not. (reading more closely) "DISCONTINUED COLORS: 04 Cream". OK.

At this point, I didn't have the courage to turn my head to look at the yarn label that was just to the left of my left hand. Head still, eyes slowly panning to the left, I looked a the label.

Right under "Colore - Shade Farbe Couleur" was stamped just one thing. The number 4.

No fancy tester socks for me. I'd broken one of the basic rules of knitting: Buy enough yarn for your project when you first buy your yarn. You might never see that yarn again.

Fancy knitting. It ain't all gravy.

All my people and a rabbit

ME: I think I'm gonna make this Purl rabbit.
SIDEKICK: Really?
ME: Yeah. It's really cute, and you can make lots of clothes for it, like a dress and some pants and a little top.
SIDEKICK: Uh huh.
ME: Also? You can knit a little sweater for it. It's super cute.
SIDEKICK: You'd better blog about it first.
ME: What? Why?
SIDEKICK: Last time.
ME: What "last time"?
SIDEKICK: Just two seconds ago, when you were gonna make that $300 blanket -- all your people gave you shit.
ME: Right.
SIDEKICK: Right?
ME: Not all of them. They were all really sweet and totally right.
SIDEKICK: I'm just saying. They know what's what. Maybe they'll know something about this rabbit.
ME: But it doesn't look that hard.
SIDEKICK: Uh huh.
ME: And I want to try out my new stuffing!
SIDEKICK: Sure.
ME: I'm just gonna make it.
SIDEKICK: {Has a nice little laugh about my foolishness and goes on about his business.}


Here's how far I got on the rabbit yesterday. Oh, but the ears aren't actually sewn on yet.

It would've gone quicker, but my first set of legs and ears were sewn way too narrow, so I couldn't turn them inside out. When I say "couldn't" I mean I tried for about an hour and a half using all manner of tools, including a pencil, a corner turner, my widdle fingers, and a chopstick. You can't say I don't try.

Up next: Ear attachment. Face and feet embroidery. And then making those adorable clothes.

(Let's not yet rule out the possibility that my embroidery could turn this super-cute rabbit into a scary-faced creature, not suitable for viewing. For the next day or so if you're looking for me, I'll be teetering on the fine line between cute and scary. Wish me luck.)

I've got your soft dreamy layers right here, pal.

The sweet UPS guy just delivered my order from Purl (which got here so fast), and it is full of glorious random items.

Sure, I'd gone to Purl to buy a magazine for a particular pattern, but while I was there, it seemed only reasonable to get some stuffing for a someday pillow, some tester sizes of the soap that people love for their handmades, and three Robert Kaufman fabrics - berry, coal, and cocoa - also for the someday pillow. Right? I don't want to make a big plane fly and a big truck drive all the way here just to hand me a magazine.

I am overwhelmed with excitement and confusion.

What will become of me and my dreamy layers?

Aaaarrghh!