Thursday, January 11, 2007

So far, so scary

Never having done applique of any kind before, I figured I should probably have a strategy so I don't actually ruin the heating pad cover I've spent so long making. Because even if the mistakes would be hilarious, the comedy just wouldn't be worth it. Not at this juncture. We've come too far.

So, here's the scientific approach I took today in an effort to avoid flubbing it up like a real turkey.

(Feel free to use this approach for any new challenge you might be facing.)

Applique Trials - Day 1 Procedures

I. Consult the internet.
  • Read manufacturers' sites for applique products on-hand.
  • Read blogs of people with actual sewing skills.
    • Notice some people substitute used dryer sheets for more traditional materials.
    • Remember that huge pile of laundry that needs to be done.
    • Use giant brain power to conclude that traditional materials are superior, as they don't require doing that huge pile of laundry.
  • Wrinkle brow a great deal. Scrunch face. Experience mind-burning confusion.
  • Look for diplomas to reassure self about level of education and ability to think logically.
  • Consider taking up drinking or using drugs to ease crushing pain of confusion.
II. Look at materials on hand.
  • "Wonder Under"
    • A sheet of something I bought at the fabric store. Has a paper side and a rough side. Supposed to be an adhesive when used with an iron.
  • Freezer Paper
    • You know, from the grocery store. Apparently, also used to adhere fabric to fabric when heated. Somehow.
  • Scraps for trials
    • Odds and ends of fabric I was saving because, "I'm sure I could use this for something!"
III. Dive in.
  • This is the step where, if you're thinking clearly, you're not only learning something new, but you're also doing dry runs for your own crafting show. A lot of talking yourself through things takes place here, and now is as good a time as any to get cracking with the talking-it-through skills.
  • My crafting show is going to be called Ok. Now. What? As in: "O.K. (focus) Now. (more focus and a deep breath) What??!!" (wrinkle, scrunch, mind-burn)
  • Notice time passing. Stay calm. Patience is a virtue.
IV. Revel in the glory of the completed prototype!

  • Evening will have fallen by this time. Do not be discouraged by the poor quality photograph you take of your prototype.
  • Be proud of learning something new today.

I learned that on the world wide web, everyone who does applique is a crazy genius of mind-frying proportions. If I really have figured this out, I'll post a blow-by-blow of how I did it, because I had a hard time finding instructions that didn't make my mind seize up. I'm just kinda slow when it comes to these things, so I promise to hold your hand through this like you've never had your hand held before. Unless it's insulting. In which case, I'd just ask that you not pity me.

Oh! I also learned that wishing the laundry was done does not make it so.


Kristy said...

Congratulations on learning something new! As a person who has never attempted applique, I can do nothing but wish you well.

Also, this statement: "My crafting show is going to be called Ok. Now. What? As in: "O.K. (focus) Now. (more focus and a deep breath) What??!!" (wrinkle, scrunch, mind-burn)" This very mentality is the reason for the name of my blog. When I was learning to knit, I was constantly taking this approach. "Ok. I've got that step. What Next?" Ever tentative, just knowing that the next step would be the one I would really screw up and have to start over.

Dr. B. said...

Kristy - As I typed that out, I thought about how similar it was to your blog's title. Funny how we all end up saying similar things. (Reminds me of the David Cross bit on Mr. Show where every time he messes up on the guitar he says, "Waitwait.")