Wednesday, February 14, 2007

100%. Pure. Love.

Hey! This my 100th post. And it's Valentine's Day. You know what that means?

It means it was meant to be! Me and my blog. We're a match made in heaven. Soul mates. I mean, we like all the same things and laugh at the same jokes. That says it all right there! Well, we also have chemistry. You know, it's organic. And my 100th post fell on Valentine's Day! That, my friends, is a sign. A sign that Blather Magather is The One!

Also? It knows how I'm feeling without me having to tell it.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

That doesn't even make any sense. How could it possibly know how I'm feeling without me telling it? Wouldn't that just mean it was deciding for me how I was feeling? Hmmm.

I guess that raises another issue about our love, now that I think about it. The issue is this: If it really loved me, it would just know to do certain things and not do other things. Right? Huh.

That doesn't make any sense either. Unless I tell it, how would it know? Without me saying, my blog would just be going along with some random/pre-made/cockamamie idea about how love should be demonstrated. "I thought you'd appreciate taking a break from blogging, and that's why I went ahead and scheduled an outage without talking to you about it. It was for you, baby!" I'm quite sure I'm not for that.

Don't get me wrong. If my blog and I have discussed things I don't like -- let's say, orange-flavored things or olives -- and my blog doesn't remember this after a few reminders, we've got some trouble. Legitimate trouble. Because the third time my blog brings me an Orange Crush and a bag of olives for lunch, I'll need to know what's up. Is it indifference toward my preferences? Hostility? Is it brain damage of some kind? I'll have concerns. Let's leave it at that.

But back to our love. I love my blog. I am happily committed to the relationship. It's like once we made this commitment official, we were no longer two individuals. We became one.

Ok. Wait. We became "one"? Like the number? See, that's just not possible. That's like saying I'm riding my unicorn to work. (Everyone knows there's no way a unicorn could handle LA traffic without goring some people along the way.) So, everyone should also know there's no way to make 2 = 1. No way.

I have some serious thinking to do.

Hearts and flowers,
Dr. B.


P.S. Thanks for being around for my first hundred posts! Here's to many more.

P.P.S. To be clear: I am the luckiest girl in the world. All my relationships are based on principles of respect and support, saying things that are hard to say, figuring things out together as a team, and trying our best to be the best partners we can be to one another. Not a single one of the people in my life would ever bring me an Orange Crush or a bag of olives. Ever. And for that (and many other things), they're all my Valentine every day of the year.

7 comments:

tiennie said...

Yay for 100!

kim said...

Clever! Congratulations on 100 - we are all better for your witty contributions to the internets. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Nora said...

Happy 100th - and here's to many, many more! x

Kristy said...

Who-ray for Dr. B!

Congratulations! You've racked up 100 results quick. I am impressed!! It is a joy to read your blog and I look forward to at least 1000 more posts! :)

Nano said...

Here's to the next 100. And 100 more... and on and on. Thanks for sharing the intimate relationship of you and blog.

Laura said...

Happy 100 posts, Dr. B! Looking forward to the next 100!

Ben said...

This post should be assigned in college courses on intimate relationships. In fact, it just might be.